Delusions Of Grandeur

Nerd Grandeur: Choose Your Own Adventure

I have two colleagues, Kevin and Larry. 

Kevin, a self-confessed nerd, has a vast knowledge of pop culture, Disney and Science Fiction. He is generally knowledgeable on any topic that you can speak of and always provides small bits of random trivia to any conversation. From his awesome metal frame glasses to us sensible shoes, he is delightful.  

Larry is a huge fan of Firefly ( well, generally all Joss Wheadon), Star Wars and Star Trek.  He collects odd knickknacks, is semi-related to Burt Bacharach and will rationally discuss the possibilities of time travel with you in a smart and educated way.  He also owns a cat.  I feel that if all of the above didn't make Larry a nerd, the ownership of a cat, tips the scale.  

In our fairly non-descript corporate office, conversations with Kevin and Larry always make my day.  We mostly discuss nerdom...how they are Nerds and how I've always just hung around them to feel clever in some sort of sad way.  These are some of our conversations:

Today’s Conversation:  Choose Your Own Adventure

Larry: Does I help my Nerd Cred with my self-purchased Father's Day gift?

Kelli:  What did you buy yourself for Father's Day?

Larry: An indoor helicopter.

Kelli:  There you have it.  If you weren't a nerd before, buying one those...Is it one of those Air Hog ones?

Larry:  Oh no, it's nicer.

Kelli:  Is it one, like the ones they play with the middle of malls?

Larry: Yes.  It's a metal jobby.  Not fancy.  It's light.  Very light but metal, if metal can be light.   If it was stronger, I would really want to buy a camera for it.

Kevin:  YES!

Larry:  It can't make it but it would be so cool though.

Kelli:  That may make it one of the nerdiest things I've ever heard or...or...if you built it yourself!

Larry: Oh! Please.  I don't...I don't...I don't use my hands that much.

Kelli: You're not white trash enough to make your own model helicopter?

Larry:  Excel is how I use my hands.

Kelli:  I'm sorry for your wife.

Larry:  No, I mean did you read Danny Dunne as a kid?  He had this flying mosquito thing and he these goggles he would but on so he could see through it.

Kelli: What's Danny Dunne?

 

Larry:  Some stupid series of books about a little science kid.  Sort of Encyclopedia Brown-ish.

Kelli:  OH!   I loved Encyclopedia Brown.  I was always mad that I couldn't figure them out before the end.  Sometimes I think I would but then it would just make me Angry.

Larry:  Yeah, I don't think I ever did.

Kelli:  Not as angry as when I would choose the wrong on the Pick-a-Path books.  But that was fleeting anger because you just read them again and flip back and forth till you got where you wanted.

Kevin:  Those were fun though.

Kelli:  You always knew when you got the "Price is Right" 2nd choice showcase because they always ended...

Larry: Wait..the Aliens leave that it's.

Kelli:  Exactly. 

Larry: Well, go to page 90.  That can't be a good one.

Kevin:  If they were smart, the second to last page would bring you back.

Kelli:  I always wished that there would be another story intertwined because you get half way through your pick-a-path and their making a come back...

Kevin:  Choose Your Own Adventures?

Kelli: Yes, yes...Choose Your Own Adventures.  Well, I like the name pick...a...path.  I wanted there to be hidden story.

Kevin:  Like Orphan Stories.  There were pages you could not get into.   You had to actually read it cover to cover. 

Kelli:  That's what I'm talking about.

Kevin:  Yeah, one of the books, the Author was probably...

Kelli:  High on all sorts of drugs?

Kevin: Yeah and there were other stories woven in...he was like yeah alright...let's do that and let's do that.

Larry: You don't remember the plot lines do you?  I think that's the question.

 

Kevin:Oh, well, they were always some sort of sci-fi...Fantasy

Kelli: Yeah, they were never girl oriented.  It was always like Gordo finds a sword in the hidden treasure of the space pirate who stole some family something or other...yeah..they weren't very girly.

During this conversation Kevin was also doing a Google search on Choose Your Own Adventure book covers.  We start looking over his shoulder.

Kevin:  So here are some, "Space Patrol,"  "Inside UFO."

Kelli:  Wait that one says Timmy's First Gay Bar, I missed that one.

Kevin:  Half of these are fake..."Super Computer," that one's real.  That one's not.

Kelli:  You Are Going to Die.

Kevin:  "The Cave of Time"  That one's real.

Kelli: I remember reading that one.

Larry: Oh Yeah. 

Kevin:  Edward Packard wrote most of them. 

Kelli:  I remember that one, because I used think that redhead girl on the cover was so beautiful and I wanted to be just like her when I grew up.  That's a sad testament to who I am as a human being.

Kevin:  It's HG Wells for the ADHD's.

Kelli: In 1989...no, these have got to be 83/84.

Kevin: I loved these.

Larry:  From those I got really into the text adventures on the computer.  Zork and the like. OH!  Deadwood City...I remember Deadwood City.  Space and Beyond, I remember that.

Kevin:  That's a very iconic one.  Journey Under the Sea.

Larry:  I remember that.

Kelli:  I only really remember "The Cave of Time," because I seriously wanted to be the hot redhead chick...and have I succeeded.

Larry: Look at that…Your Life Achievement.

Kelli:  I know, right?  (I say laughing).  Did you read them in succession?  And how old were you when you read them (Larry is in his early forties).

 

Larry: I don't know my friend had them, I borrowed them. Oh!  Nabouti, I remember that!  My god this incredible.

Kelli:  Wait, so you had to be in late teens, early twenties.

Larry:  No.

Kelli:  Then maybe they didn't come out in the late eighties, as I only read them in Elementary school.

Larry:  Wait?  How old do think I am?

Kelli: You're in your early sixties, right?

Larry starts laughing.

Kevin: '76.

Kelli:  Wow, that's way before I was born.

Larry:  Wait, how the hell old are you?

Kelli: I'm thinking in my head.  Wait..Wait..

Larry: You should just go to the year.  You don't have to do the math.

Kelli:  (Laughing) Oh no math!  Another reason I was never successfully a nerd.  Although, I was in Science Olympiad.

Kevin:  OH!  Yeah.

Kelli:  Ahhh, yeah!  I did orientation.  I was really good at it.  I can find my way to and from anywhere.  I'm just really good at it.  I got the gold metal...went to state.

Larry: For what now?  Reading maps.

Kelli: Orientation.  You have a compass...it's like geocaching before they had the electronic gadgetry.  So they gave you a compass and a whole bunch of coordinates all over and you had to go get the flag at each stop.

Larry:  Oh, I thought it was an orientation session and you did well at showing up.  You showed up.  You get the gold medal,  now go away.

Kelli:  Haha!  I wanted to do the egg drop where you got to drop the egg off like a three story building, without it breaking...

Larry: Yeah...that whole team building thing.

 

Kelli:  Yeah but the nerds...the really big nerds wouldn't let me on that team because I wasn't a mathlete.  Which is apparent, because I can't figure out my age.  But I got a gold baby...one of only like four for our team.

Larry:  It's just so funny because I can't get my definition of orientation out of my head.  I'm stuck on my own and it's just not impressive.  It's like winning the Pulitzer for the preface.

KellI: Well, this was a fascinating jaunt down memory lane.

Kevin: Yes it was.

Kelli:  I'm glad I came over.

Larry:  Yes, we must do this again.

Bernie Dresel: Chasing Buddy

Bernie Dresel is not a household name. However, you have undoubtly heard his work thousands of times.  As a successful working musician, Bernie has not only provided the back beat for legendary talents like Ringo Starr, Chaka Khan, Brian Setzer and Chick Corea, but alsoa provides the studio percussions for  the TV shows and Movies that many of us see on a daily basis.  The Simpsons, Lost, Family Guy all of Disney's Pixar Films...the list goes on and on.  I caught up with Bernie a few weeks ago while he was on a break from working on the recording of the new J.J Abrams/Steven Speilberg hit "Super 8."   Having been in the busines for over 20 years, he shared some great stories and even better advice on what it takes to be a working musican in LA, while still keeping your passion alive.

On a sidenote:  Bernie mentions Emil Richards quite a few times.  For those of you unfamiliar with legandary xylophonis in the industry, Emil's vibes are legendary.  He has recorded HUNDREDS of movie scores and worked his magic for the most incredible talent in the business including but not limited to:  Frank Sinatra, The Beach Boys, George Harrison, Judy Garland, Blondie, Frank Zappa, Bing Crosby, Sarah Vaughn, Nat Cole and The Doors. 

 

So without further ado, Ladies and Gentleman the wisdom of Bernie Dresel:

KM: So when you were kid, did you always dream of becoming a musician?

BD:  It’s hard to say that I always did because I started hitting things when I was 2.  And I started lessons when I was four and half, so what is our memory at the time. It’s kinda like fragmented pictures.  But what I remember s are two big moments, that seem unrelated, but they‘re related.  The Kennedy assassination when I was 2 years old.  And then four months later, The Beatles on Ed Sullivan, it was huge for me just the elation; the crowd roaring.  They were good.  It looked like fun.

KM: So were you a Ringo fan even at Age two?

BD: Yeah, but it was just the band and their making music, not just Ringo per say.   What was the driving thing…it was the beat.  So we use to go back then…we used to go on Sunday drives.  We’d be in our ’61 Cadillac, I was born in ’61, and I started pounding.  And they thought “OH!  He’s a genius.”  They tried to get me lessons even when I was that young.

KM: Really, at two?

BD:  But the music store in town said, “Oh, he’s too young, bring him back later.”  So, at three years old, they tried again…”Bring ‘em back later.”  Four…“Bring’em back.”   Four and half and then it was  “Okay!”

KM: So this was in the town where you grew up?

BD:  It was music store called Mark’s music.  It was in Farrell, Pennsylvania which is right near Sharon right over the border.   You know the Quaker Stake and Lube; there is also the world’s largest candy store there, Dafins.

KM: Then they have “The Winner.”  Which is the world’s largest off price fashion store…I am down on Sharon, PA.

BD:  That’s right! They also had another world’s largest there; do you know what it was?

KM:  I know it was some kind of shoe store.

BD:  That’s right.  It’s Reyer’s, the world’s largest shoe store.  But the town when I go back there is getting disseminated by the lack of jobs, people not moving in, just leaving, so homes are getting dilapidated.  Anyways, at four and half the music store finally said they would give me a lesson. But I was a really quiet little boy and I listen very well.  I was focused.  So, the lesson went well and then they joking let, “Oh well, you should have brought him in earlier.  That’s when I started drum lessons.

KM: So was it always your dream to be a drummer?

BD: Yeah, I mean, It wasn’t even a dream, it was kind my reality.  Like, what else I am going to do.

KM: So there was no other choice for you?

BD: Yeah.  Although, along the way, because you are always thinking, what’s the back-up?  I think I also thought about being an astronaut because that was huge in the sixties, you know the space program, the space race.  Then I realized that you have to have good vision, which I don’t.

KM: But you had a talent for the drums…

BD: Yeah.  I was an Altar boy, so I thought, “Maybe a priest would be cool.”  But then I realized oh, no girls. 

KM: Not so good.

BD:  Nah, forget that.  All those things were just fleeting possibilities.    I was going to be a musician.

KM: So you were a music geek from the start.

BD: Yeah, yeah, music geek, band geek.

KM: So you’re dream of always wanting to be a musician, is that what you brought you out to LA?  Did you have a different path?  Did you start in New York clubs?

BD: Oh no, when you’re in high school and your king of the sea, tearing it up in high school; you think, “You’re gonna go.” (He motions his hands like a rocket taking off to the sky)   Yet, I was always kinda more realistic and thought about what’s out there in the bigger pond.  Because you never know what you are going to get when you get there, so I studied music education at Eastman up in Rochester NY.  They would always tell us that we needed something to fall back on, like teaching.   So I got a degree in Education and Performance, just in case.  And I think about this, that when I got to LA I would apply to the CBEST Test for the teaching certification here. Every time, I scheduled that test, I always got a gig and I couldn’t make the test.  And that just kinda told me, that I am going to busy playing.

KM: So did you find the transition to LA and getting into the music scene an easy thing for you to do?  Or was it something where you kinda were plugging away and you were struggling?

BD: Oh, it’s difficult.  For anybody, myself included.  You know tears sometimes of frustration because I went to a very good music school.   But out here I would go to a club and to hear a band to try and meet people and all I could say was that I went to Eastman.  The big established players would go “Oh, that’s cool. Great.” Then they would move on.  So I knew it was going to be a long road to break in here. 

KM: So did you find it really hard to socially find your niche in LA with a group people that were doing the same things?  Where did you land?

BD: Well, the word from a friend had been that the Valley was the place for musicians.  Now, it’s probably still the case, although a lot of rock musician think that Hollywood the place, where MIT is and all.  So a lot of Rock kinda people, end up moving to Hollywood first, where they think that’s the music scene.  It kinda is for a Rock thing, but that whole gig is like a one and million shot kinda thing, praying that your band kinda makes it.  My whole thing and the musicians I am talking about were the ones working in the studio or the orchestra players.

KM: You’re talking about a working musician.

BD:  Yeah.

KM: Did you find it hard to get into that at first?  Was there a lot of auditioning?  What was the process?

BD: No auditioning.  In fact I’ve never won an audition ever, of any band that I’ve done, be it Kenny Loggins or Cher.  I mean I never really took any.  When they’re cattle calls they’re not even sure exactly who they should pick when they hear people.  Because everyone is good; or they may sound good out of the gate, but then they start to work with them and they can’t learn the songs or whatever.  So, usually the thing that happens is that someone that’s in a band or someone you’ve played with recommends you and then you go and do it.  If they hate you, you don’t get to do it again.  They like you, they keep you.

KM: So what was your first gig?

BD: Well, um, my first gig I got 3 weeks after getting here.   It was two weeks at the Aladdin Hotel in Las Vegas.  There were these three beautiful sisters that used to be Dean Martin’s Gold Diggers.  They created an act out of that.  But from playing with them, I met three or four other musicians that lead to the next gig. Not the big time yet.  I think, we stayed at Airport Inn that I dubbed the cockroach motel, really seedy Las Vegas for two weeks.  But then soon after, I put together a band with some of my friends, a top forty band.  And then even that didn’t get that much work.  We just barely broke into that.    But then, I got to go on the road for six months with the Letterman.    The head guy, the only original guy, was Tony Butella.   A friend of mine I went to Eastman with met them while working a gig on a cruise ship.  When they got back to LA they said that they needed a drummer and a bass player.  So I went on the road with them for six months before I quit.  So, I thought, “Okay, now I credit.”  So when I meet someone in a club I would say, “Hi, I’m Bernie and I’ve been working with the Letterman.  Now there reaction was, “OH!”  But still it was nothing.  It wasn’t like Madonna or Chick Corea.  Even to this day though it’s not so much who you play with, it’s if they get to hear you play and get to know what you sound like, then they hire you.

So that’s the frustrating thing when you move somewhere and you are trying to break in, people… they need to hear you.  It’s not just a CD of you playing, it’s not who you’ve worked with, it’s them getting in the trenches with you.  So how do you get that? 

KM: Well and that’s the thing for some many people.  They say well, I have all this talent and I don’t know anybody in the music industry, how do I do what they’re doing?  Where’s the best club to find these people?   Where did you find that you need to go to find people in the music scene?

BD: Well, now, and this could change as these clubs could not be around, because they come and they go; Right now Café Cordiale is big one.  There’s no cover charge there and my band BERN plays there.  It’s a cool musician hang out mostly because number one, it’s free… you don’t have to pay a cover to get in.  Musicians just go to hang there and get to know other musicians.  The Baked Potato, Vitello’s…but that’s just one scene. But basically, I would say I’ve slebbed my way to the top.

KM:  What was your first real gig, where you said “Okay, I’ve made it, I am going to have a career in this?”

BD  There are all varying degrees, because like, when you get your first wedding you think “cool,” because you’ve broke through.  I tell people it’s kind a like a pyramid, you’ve got to know one person for that person to know the right person and recommend you and then when you go and do the gig now there’s four people that recommend you, then it’s 8 then it’s 16.  As long as they like you and like how you play, because otherwise the pyramid shuts down.

KM: Alright, but what was the first one, the big break where you knew you made it?   Where you knew you were going to become a working musician?

BD: Well, I kinda think I always knew that, but my first big break was to go play with Maynard Ferguson.  I only did that for a few weeks because I got a studio television gig.

KM: Those are rare nowadays.

BD: Yeah they are; there was also a show called “Our House.”

KM: Wilford Brimley, Shannon Dougherty, Deidra Hall and that kid Chad…he went on and was on Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, and I feel sad that I know all that.  What was his name?

BD:  Yeah, but I don’t remember his name...  Anyhow, the Composer Joe McNeely , I went to Eastman with, so he recommended me and that’s how I got in the door there.  But some of the music was very light.   I would have a couple of timpani notes or a triangle or a single bell note.  Then finally one day he had some drums on there.  Or percussions in it because I do that too, like I did today for the Spielberg movie (at the Time of the interview Bernie was on Break from a studio session for the movie Super 8).  It was finally a time I could shine and show people my stuff, the cue was basically, “boom-boom-bum-a-choo-ahhh” and then some suspended cymbal roles, it wasn’t much but it was a way of saying hey, look what I can do.  I did a professional job and I got called back.    This was three years after I got here.  But different things along the way, whether it’s breaking new ground like playing for Michael Giacchino on his films or Emil [Richards] calling me for his big band.  Great music, great people and you’re opening up new doors.

KM:What has been your favorite working experience?

BD: Working?

KM: Other than your funk band BERN which seems like a lot of fun?

BD: It’s a lot of fun, but a lot of work.  As a drummer you are rarely a band leader.

KM: Well there was Buddy Guy, Buddy Rich… generally people named Buddy.

BD: Yeah, and for my 50th birthday in November, I am going to do a concert not of BERN but I wanted to do something unique.  It’s gonna be a whole night of Buddy Rich big band charts.  It’s gonna be really great.  I’ve talked to Buddy’s daughter Cathy and she’s given me her blessing on it.

KM:  Are you gonna play on a match box?

BD: I dunno know, we’ll see.   I have been practicing.  I didn’t want to just do a party.   I wanted to something special for me.   So, it’s interesting that have just fallen in my lap recently since I’ve decided to do it.  An arranger called and asked me if I would be interested in playing in his band.  He’s probably 65 or something like that.  I wasn’t sure who he was at first.  But then we started chatting and I realized he knew what he was talking about.  I mentioned the Buddy Rich concert, and a song called ‘Love for Sale’.  Well then the guy asked me if I knew who the arranger was for the songs.  And I actually didn’t and I didn’t mention the arranger on the stuff I’ve looked up.  And he says, “It was me.”  I said, you’re kidding me!

KM: Love For Sale…Ella Fitzgerald…Love for Sale…Cole Porter?

BD: Yeah, Cole Porter.   Peter Meyers is the arranger who arranged it for Buddy in 1966.  He called me up and now he’ll probably be there.  Then last night we played with Emile [Richards] at Typhoon and right in front and there’s a white haired gentleman that seems to be watching me pretty close…enjoying it.  So I went up and talked to him afterwards and I mentioned the Buddy show.  And he says, “Oh, I produced Buddy’s last concert. Live at King Street.” So anyway, it’s kinda cool that even along the way you meet people from the past or new artists.

KM: So who’s been your favorite person to work with?

BD: The coolest was probably Ringo.

KM: You played with Ringo?

BD: Well, on a TV show, the Dame Edna Show.  He sang.   I think they did four different pilots, one with Ringo, one with Barry Manilow, and one with Doc Severinsen and I forgot the other one.  So I played one song with Ringo on a TV show.  So that was cool.

KM: So who is the biggest guy you’ve played with?

BD: Everyone is big in there different ways, Chick Corea played.  I loved playing with Chaka Khan that was cool; riding the bus with her for 7 to 9 weeks something like that. Phillip Bailey from Earth, Wind and Fire was on that tour too, so that was a highlight that sticks out.  But I mean, it’s amazing, even playing with Emile [Richards], he’s not a household name and a pop name.  But he was friends with George Harrison and played concerts for George. 

KM: He played on all of Sinatra’s albums?

BD: Yeah, that’s right.  And with him you get to play with the bass player who played the bass line for Barney Miller.  All these things are just really cool moments.

KM: What favorite?  Studio work, studio for television, for movies, or playing live music.

BD:  I just love variety.  Sometimes recording guys get so stuck up in a studio that they don’t go out and play live and they lose their drive for what really got them going in the first place.    I am just so fortunate to have variety…different styles, different amounts of money, different amounts of how long I’m with someone.  Brian Seltzer, I was with him for 15 years.  So that was really great and a big thing.

KM: You’ve worked on some pretty cool stuff…

BD: Well, you jump and there gone.   I mean Simpsons has been on for a long time and I’ve been subbing on that.  It’s been on twenty years.   I’ve been subbing for 10 years. 

KM: How long does it take to record something that?   Is it only an hour for a television show?

BD: Well, we there today for the film from 10am to 5pm, and we’ll do five days or six days of that.  But the orchestra is so good, that a lot of times with Michael [Giancchino] we finish a day early.  This means that we don’t get that last day of pay, but we’re good.  That’s why they come to LA to record the orchestra’s here because they’re good.  Because it takes a shorter amount of time, it’s actually a better price.

KM: Music industry can be an exceptionally difficult business.  How did you avoid all the pitfalls?  How did you get around all that?

BD: I just tried to be a nice guy…meaning that there are some people who can really be ruthless to get to the top or even just to get started working.   In order to continue working they might turn into these very political animals and try to control things.   I just kept trying to play good and be a nice guy that people want to be around.  And again, didn’t put all of my marbles in one basket…so I have something else, when things aren’t really going on.

KM: But there sometimes can be a tremendous pressure to fall into the Hollywood traps, the vice of musicians and people who have obtained some success in Entertainment…

BD:  And there’s pressure because you’re looking around and going am I going to make or how long do I wait.  Like some people move here like musicians and say “like I thought, I might give it a year. “  I go that’s not long enough.  If you are just going to move out here after 8 months or a year you have wasted your trip;  unless you get overnight success for some weird reason.  It’s about planting the seeds and letting it grow.  Meeting new people and having it lead somewhere.  Just playing in on even a free rehearsal just so you are heard or felt...being in the trenches.  As a singer breaking in it’s tough because a lot of times the singer is the star or not working.  There are background singing gigs.  But most of them the singer is the lead person.  But the drummer or the bass player, you can just come in and out of different gigs.  Just be the side man and then you can work in multiple bands and keep the calendar filled.  In situations where it’s only you, I feel bad because there’s opportunities aren’t as much, I mean yeah if they hit it the opportunity to be a very successful singing star, where as I will always be in the background guy as the drummer.  The other thing is that me as a drummer;  it doesn’t matter my age generally, meaning that I don’t feel the pressure  that my time is running out like maybe an actress might feel.  Although, you know the reality is that if you are a good actress it doesn’t matter how young you look, they need people that aren’t young.  But as a musician, pop groups are gonna want a younger looking drummer, they want a young looking drummer behind a Brittney Spears, but those gigs don’t usually pay a lot of money anyway. .  I’m pretty fortunate in that I am doing all the work that is pretty cream of the crop stuff.

KM: You’ve been pretty lucky.  You’ve had a really good career.

BD: Yeah…Yeah and It’s, you know…I’ve been studying Buddy [Rich] a lot.  And you know somebody will tell you’ve been sounding good and the modest thing is “Oh thanks or whatever.”  But he [Buddy] was under the impression that it should be “Yeah, yeah I did sound good tonight.”  You know, why lie?  Why play the humble game, when you can just go, “Oh yeah!  I thought I sounded good to night too.”  Or,
“It was good.”

KM: Our Egos are so weird.

BD:  Like even this Buddy thing, is to push myself to get better and better.  I’m chasing Buddy.  Everyone says nobody can play like him, so I am putting myself out there and saying, “Here I go.  Check it out.”

KM: What is your favorite thing about LA?

BD:  I just like meeting people from different cultures and having the whole world come here.  Like Brazilians and musician to play with them and learn.  Coming from Sharon, PA there wasn’t a lot cultural diversity and now I take it for granted almost just the wide variety of people that move here from all over the world.  It’s so cool.    It’s also just so many great musicians, just so close, that there is the opportunity to meet them and play with them.

KM: What is your favorite thing to do?  If you have some free time, what is your favorite thing to go and do in LA?

BD: Sit on the couch and watch the Lakers.  I like to go to the Dodger games.  I haven’t been to the beach in a long time.  The beach kinda bores me somewhat.

KM: What is the one thing that you promised yourself you would or wouldn’t do when you found some success in LA?

BD: I promised I would buy myself baseball cards that I always wanted when I was a kid and never got.  Like Roberto Clemente rookie card.  Or a baseball with his signature on it.  House with pool….and I did that.

KM: So you did it.  With everything that has gone on…being a successful working musician…working on all these incredible projects,  and now you’ve got the pool…do you think you have found a life for yourself in LA?

BD:  (Laughing) Yeah… Yeah, I have.

Emily Gordon: Success in the Back of a Comic Book Store

 

Emily Gordon, besides being a licensed family and marriage therapist, successful writer, Nerdist Theatre Director, G4 producer and wife to Comedian Kumail Namjami, is also the producer of the high successful Meltdown comedy show at Meltdown comics.  Having come to LA from New York just one short year ago, the fun and vivacious redhead as achieved a reputation as someone that can be trusted for her great taste and sense of comedy.  I sat down with Emily at the Palihouse in West Hollywood to find out how she has found success in her work.   She arrived for the interviews all smiles as she bounced down the lobby stairs.  And throughout the interview there were a lot of laughs, high-fives and really really insightful tidbits from a woman still very much grounded in her therapist roots.

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What did you want to become when you grew up?

EG: I went through a couple of different phases but, pretty early on I kinda knew I wanted to be a therapist.   I had wanted to be a singer…I acted.   I was in couple of student movies when I was in high school.  And then once I got to college I realized that psychology and dealing with people was kinda my thing.  So pretty early on I wanted to be a therapist.  I went straight through school to Grad school and that was to get a Masters in couples and family therapy.

How did you go from being therapist to being part of the LA Comedy scene?

EG: I started as a Therapist in North Carolina, then I moved to Chicago.  I was therapist there. Then I started seeing move live comedy, because there they a great comedy scene there.  From there I moved to New York, where I started not only watching comedy and also doing therapy but getting involved in comedy.   Then we moved to LA which brings us to now.  From booking the weekly Meltdown Show, which I started doing October, I am now the producer for the show and the director of the Nerdist Theatre.  I am also a writer for the Huffington Post Divorce; their divorce section.  And it’s weird because you come with ideas and it’s hard, because you’re like, well, I hope I can make this relate to divorce.   It’s hard because divorce is such a multi-faceted thing but sometimes you want to come up something that is a little cheerier.  I also work for G4 as a writer and producer on a show about video games…a web series.  It’s a show called Feedback.  It’s a podcast that they film, so what you are watching is podcast being filmed and it’s only on the internet, so it’s not like a TV show.   I write the script for that and then next week I start being on the show.

How did you get involved with Comedy and Entertainment, not having any experience in the entertainment industry?

EG:  OH! Well!  (She Laughs) I interviewed at Comedy Central in New York, several times.  They were my friends having to interview me and I got turned down every time.  I was going to comedy shows in New York all the time. Back there, my good friend, Pete Holmes, who is a comedian out here now.   He was like, “I have this show.  I don’t want to run this show, I want to host, but I don’t want to do any work for it…you’ll do it.”  He was just basically like, “You’ll do it!”  And I was like, [She huffs] “Fine!”  And I kinda loved it.  And I know all the comedians because Kumail [Emily’s Husband and Comedian], so then when  I would email them, it wasn’t like, ‘Hey Stranger can you do this show?’  It was a lot easier for me to have access to certain people.  So, I was booking people into this book store in New York and then Kumail started doing a little bit better.  I was very burnt out on my job as a therapist and I heard about an opening at a Comedy Club called Comix.   It was for a promotions person, very underling…very very underling.  I was like, “I am just gonna do this.  This is what I am going to do now.   I am going to quit my job and I am just going to write as much as I can and I am going to do this job.”  So I…it was kinda terrifying because my whole identity had been in being a therapist….in being that girl.

So you’re working in comedy clubs, then you started writing.  How did you go from the transition of therapist and comedy producer to writer?

EG: That actually came pretty easy.  In New York and in Chicago, I used to do workshops.  I thought it was kinda like, a fun thing. I would write these long essays and we’d have these workshops in the back of sex shops.  So it would be like what to do if you have just gotten out a long term relationship and doing them in sex shops.  Which actually really kinda hilarious, because it was me and anal sex workshops.  Which one is more exciting, mine or anal sex?  Clearly not mine…not mine.   So I would do workshops about breaking up and the ways that pop culture has ruined dating for woman.   I just kinda fell into writing for woman’s blogs.  Just write stupid little things.  It would be like when you go to a guy’s house how to tell if he is a man or a boy.  Does he have DVD rack? (She laughs and goes for her first high five, knowing instinctively that we’ve both been there.)   Just kinda of silly stuff and then it got into the serious stuff with me being a therapist.  And it just kinda snowballed.   So I have two different…writing and comedy….comedy is a big passion.

The writing…having the writing background got you into AOL and TV.com?

EG: Yeah, a little bit.  And I don’t have a writing background so much.  So  I would always lead with I am a trained therapist.  So if you want to have trained therapist on your staff, that’s what I can do for you …and they would.  They would say, “Oh! Emily’s a trained Therapist.  Make sure that’s the thing that she writes for us.”  But a lot of the stuff I had written was really, kinda of funny.

So it was all coming together?

EG: Yeah…Yeah.  So it was comedy and like, writing have been my two…the two things I have been pushing the most.

Is it odd how life kinda diverges?

EG:  And then weirdly converges…like there is no way it really should.   Having therapist skills is great with dealing with comedians and dealing with a crowd.

What are some of the ways that having those skills has helped?

EG: I don’t want to say they [Comics] are all creepy and depressed people, but there certainly is a use when I have to give someone really bad news, like “Hey, you need to do a really short set tonight.” Or “No, I can’t book you.”  I feel like I have…or I am a little better at delivering bad news then maybe other people would be.  I’m used to telling people,” I’m sorry, your children are now in custody of the state.  Sorry.”  And it’s a little relative…being able to read crowd dynamics.  You’ll feel when a room goes sour really quickly.  Then part of what I do is try to figure what is going on and then see what I can do to fix it.

So you were in New York…what brought you to LA?

EG: Well basically Kumail.  I am kinda of girl that…I like to just…life is kinda (She laughs a small nervous laugh)and it sound so cheesy…but life is kinda of an adventure for me and as much as I can I don’t say no.  As much as I can I say yes to…I try to say yes.  He [Kumail] was like, “Hey, I might get this part on this show and if I get this part it means that we are going to have to move within like, a two month span.”  And I was like, “Let’s do it.  Let’s do it.  There is no reason not to do it.”  I loved my job at Comix, but they were kinda downsizing and have since shut down.  My blogging I can do from anywhere.  The Comic stuff, I could find a place for that to work.  I’d find a new show to do in LA.  So, we kinda just picked up and did it.

Like so many, you just packed up the car and drove across country.

EG:  Yeah…and we just realized that in the past three years we moved from Chicago to New York and now LA.  Since living in Chicago together, we’ve just been moving.  Which is great, but at first it kinda freaked me out, then after a while, it’s like, you can get comfortable in any situation.  It just makes you more prepared for when stuff gets uncomfortable. 

Since arriving here, what is the biggest difference between the two cities?

EG: There is so much more free-time here so like, you can get involved with a lot of different things here…where as in New York people had one that there were kinda working on and they are just desperately trying to pay rent the rest of the time.  It’s so expensive there, so you that you have to work a job and kinda make money.  The coming out here, there are people who just make video’s for fun.  Not like they are trying to get anything out of it, they just want to have a good time.  They spend their entire weekends making movies amongst themselves and that I always thought that was kinda cool.  People think too much here.  People get way more into psychics here, because you just have more free time.  You just have more free time to think, “Well, what I am going to do today?  Let’s explore this.”

What has been the greatest part of living and working in LA?

EG: I would say just being creative.  Creating something.  The team that we have like Kumail and Jonah and now even our bartender Zach; he’s a huge part of it.  Just having this thing that we all feel like we are a team.  We have this thing that is our baby.   At some point during each show in the greenroom, Jonah, Kumail and I will all look at each other and be like, “Okay…we did it!  We did another one!”  It’s still amazing to us every week that we can do this.  This a thing that people have let us do.  That’s probably my favorite thing.

So many people come out here and they want to do what you are doing.  But they have no idea of all the work and effort that goes into being a success.  They think it’s an easy thing to just become a movie star or a comedian or a singer, but actually it’s much more difficult.  Then because they don’t know anyone here they run around to parties…

EG:  And they are going about it in a really convoluted way.  They are networking with a capital “N”.   It’s just like calm down you don’t have to crazy all the time.

How did you go about starting or getting involved in a show here?

EG: Kumail said to me, “I’m not getting up at shows here at all.  There are no good shows.”  There are.  There are amazing shows here.  In New York, there’s like three good shows a night.  Whereas here, you have the clubs and then you have a couple of odd rooms around town.  So part of it was wanting a place to perform every week and part of it was that he wanted a space that had good loving warm audience, that wasn’t rude.

And you found that at the Meltdown?  I mean the Meltdown Nerds are there because they want to be there.

EG:  Exactly, Comedy Nerds are the best.

What’s the best thing that has come out of our role with the Nerdist Theatre and Meltdown?

EG:  Being in that store, is huge!  The first time I visited that store, I remember walking in and being like, “I only want to be here for the rest of my life.”  I love the store.  When I went back and looked at the space, it was amazing.  Just being involved with that store is its own reward.  It’s been there 18 years, the store is legendary.  Being able to work with Chris Hardwick, who I have always admired, has been amazing too!

Did he [Chris] help you; guide you along your way?  You need to do this because XYZ, even when it seems that you are just too busy?

EG: Everything I do is run by Chris.  He I then discuss it and he says, “Oop that’s a yes…and Oop that’s a no.” I trust his business sense.  His business sense I uncanny.  Uncanny.   So I trust whatever he says.

Has he helped you with connections in the town?  Helped you with career advice?

EG: His whole with me is that he knows a lot about comedy and I know a lot about running a show, so let’s just do this together.  So we kinda both…and this is how I tend to approach everything:  I am never going to be the expert.  You are never going to be the expert.  But together, we can make something.

That’s actually very lovely.  What is the one direction that you want your career to go?

EG: [Laughing] I have no idea!   It’s hard to say.  I love the theatre.  I love producing shows.  I love putting together individual shows.  I love being able to kinda bring really interesting weird stuff to the public.

You love to produce…

EG: I do.

What do you think is the hardest aspect of being a producer of a live event?

EG:  There’s an audience for every show it’s just hard to find them.  I love it when I tweet something and 15 people will re-tweet it but half of them are in Florida.  It’s like, “Okay thanks, I love it.  But, I really need LA people.  I really need people who can come to the show. I truly believe that there is an audience for every show that we do.  I can see them…I just don’t know where to find them all the time.

So social media has played a big impact in what you are doing.

EG: Huge. Huge.  I would be no where without twitter. Our show would be no where without twitter.  The theatre itself would be no where without twitter.  It’s a big thing.  I have three different accounts one for the show, one for the theatre and then my personal account.  I try hard to have my personal account be about my writing, my life.  I actually wrote about how my hair thing is in the shape of a dick.

Is that a hair thing or a Silly Band? (I ask as she shows me the twisted outline of a black rubber penis that she has just pulled from her hair.  We both start to laugh).

EG:  Oh! OH!  I guess I didn’t notice that.  I thought it was just a hair thing.  I guess it’s a silly band; I have no idea where it came from.    When I took it out of my hair I was thinking, where did this come from in my life?  How did I get this…that’s what I tweet about.

Wearing a penis?

EG:  And it was in my hair and now it’s on my arm! (She giggles with delight as plays with her penis ). 

So what is your personal writing about? Is it about your adventure here; is it a place for you to vent your frustrations?

EG: (Calming herself down from the happiness she has found in her hairband) It’s about weird stories from life growing up.  I’ve had a kinda insane…well, now everybody has.  Everybody has their stories.  I am working on being a better storyteller.  I do write a lot about relationships…

The ideal versus reality?

EG: Yeah, how a lot people end up dating the expectations instead of the person that they are actually dating.  All the expectations they have for them and then they wonder why it crashes and burns later.  Stuff like that.  Most of my personal writing has more of a therapist slant.  I want to do a storytelling show about what it’s like to grow up a nerd…an outcast.  When I talk to people, they say that they didn’t really read comic books.  And I say, “Well, were you ostracized?” And they tell me yes.  That’s what I want to hear about.  I would love to hear stories from all these comedians who go on stage very confident, I want to hear about when they were ostracized. I want to hear that for sure!  We are trying to do more workshoppy thing in the future because we have a lot of people come in and say I want to do what you are doing.  I want to be in this industry.  And they don’t know all the jobs that exist…but all people think of, and myself included, is the writing or the acting and that’s it.  They have no idea that there are great really fulfilling jobs.

So how did you convert from your side writing projects and the melt into your new role with G4?

EG: One of the guys who comes to the store and is friends with Jonah was looking for someone who knows video games and could be kinda funny and put a show together. 

That’s a great connection.  You’ve made a lot of really great connections.  Do you feel that is really how you’ve moved ahead in LA?

EG: For sure.  It’s nothing really…you meet people and randomly end up talking to them and they say I have this slot and seem like you might be able to fill this slot.  That’s basically how it’s been…that’s how a lot of things start. A lot of people have gotten careers…careers in TV; running networks, running TV shows from doing live shows.  I don’t even know if that what I am looking for.

Well, it came looking for you with the G4 gig.

EG:  Yeah, I guess it has…things work out the way they need to.  I couldn’t have handled this two years ago.  I couldn’t have handled this three years ago.  I couldn’t have done all this.  I wouldn’t have been ready.  I would have been like, “No, I’m a therapist.  I have a master’s degree.”  I mean, I don’t make a ton of money from this.

How do you handle the insecurity of the industry?  The lack of money for those starting out….the lack of job security?  It’s so often a trade for being creative, that you have to work for free everywhere for a while.   How do you adjust?

EG: It’s hard.  Never push it with the expectation of making money.  Those people burnout so quickly.  You have to be patient with it.  You have to remind yourself that you did it on purpose.  When my friends would take acid, they’d start freaking out but there would always be a point where they would say, “You did this on purpose.  You wanted this experience, remember that.”   That’s what I try to remember.  That’s horrible analogy, I know.

Life lessons from Acid Trips, it’s a great analogy.

EG: (She lets out another great laugh) When things get rough; I have those times where I am stumbling.  I think, I wanted this.  I wanted this.  This is what I asked for and this is what I got.  In the grand scheme of things, I am doing fine.  I can’t second guess myself.  I don’t even have the time to second guess myself.

You have your ups and downs, but what is the greatest thing about what you do?

EG: All of it’s great.  (She beams) There is nothing.  Even the worst things about it are great.  When it’s stressful, it’s really not that terrible.  We’re not killing anybody nor is anyone going to go to jail.   Even the worse parts of it are great.  I get to work with amazing people.  I get bounce ideas off great people.  I get to learn about a lot of things.  I get see people have a good time at a show.

If someone wants to get in on the exciting action of dealing with the LAPD or do something similar to what you are doing, what would be your recommendation?

EG: I would ask this all when I was not sure of what I wanted to do, but I knew I enjoyed comedy.  Do what you can to get involved in a live show.  Be willing to help out.  That’s it.  Oh, and don’t be an asshole.  And that’s what I love about working with Hardwick.  His whole thing is just don’t be asshole (she laughs).  Be a nice person to be around and that’s it.  Just don’t be a dick and things will happen for you.

Things are really starting to happen for you now.  And now it’s time for the dreaded corporate interview question.  Where do you want to be in 5 years from now?

EG: (Laughing) I umm….I wanna…That’s a horrible question.

Don’t say that’s a horrible question.  It’s a fantastic question because no one really knows where they will be in five years unless you are a time traveler or a doctor, because then well…you’ll probably be a doctor.

EG:  Well, even then you don’t know for sure.  Anything can happen.  I wanna be umm….(Starts laughing again).  I guess I want to be anywhere I can be entertainment to people.  Somewhere I am able to bring a little bit wellness…its ahhhh...its well; I am really trying to talk about how important wellness is to me without sounding incredibly cheesy….

Is that possible?

EG:  Yes.  I think so.  I want people to be happy and to be well.

I get it. I get it…laughter, happiness…how will you make wellness apart of what you are currently doing?

EG: Well, to me it’s not just the comedians, it’s the audience too.  I want…  It’s so…ughh…cheesy but…(She shakes her head laughing as she thinks of what she is about to say next) there are these two prongs off my job that I am always trying to figure out how to get together.  A lot of the writing I do is trying to make well something that people want to strive for.  People see so very excited about being crass and sort of angry.  It’s fine to be happy.  It’s great to be happy.

Comedy itself is based on crassness, complaining and cynicism, so how do you give them wellness when there is already this negativity that comes through in acts?

EG: The comedians that have negativity in their acts are amazing.  I don’t want to change anybody’s routine.  But wellness is good… it’s good to be happy.  You’re still interesting because you’re happy.  Anyway I can convey that to people in my writing life and if there is any way I can make those two things mix.  People when they come to show, if they like being there… if they feel that they are part of family…like their part of a community. I would love to do it for all the shows eventually.  But right I want everyone who comes to the meltdown to feel as if they are part of the show.  I want to everyone to feel like that.

From my experience it’s not that you’re part of the show as much as it is that you belong there. 

EG:  Yeah, you do belong there.

So it’s not the way you look, it doesn’t matter if your whole life if you didn’t fit somewhere.  But at the Meltdown,  it’s okay to come as you are…you can be whatever and you still belong.

EG: That’s exactly it.  That’s all we want.  We want people to feel that connected to. We want that for all of the shows.  Because we feel that the more people feel they’re a part of it, the more connected they are…and the more they can enjoy it.  And I have no idea if that actually answers your question.

I don’t think it does, but who cares.  Well…I guess you want to be somewhere that helps people feel connected to others.  And I…I actually think that’s a great answer.   So, Last question.  Given everything you’ve done in such a short time and the success of the Meltdown and how you’re career is starting to go in several different directions, do you think you have found a life in LA?

EG: I am quite happy with my life here. I think that both Kumail and I, that everything is always evolving.  We realize…I realize with him that things change constantly.  I just try to be happy with where I am not and then we just move forward from there.  So I think…I think I have a life here that I like, but that doesn’t mean it won’t change much.  That’s the nature of it.  Life is going to happen either way.  Change will happen either way.  The acceptance is the part you have to work at.

My Own Delusion

Several months ago, I moved from Cleveland in search of finding a new life here among the tall palm trees, black chauffer driven SUVs, and daily haze of Southern California skies.  My dreams weren't as grand as many, I'm just trying to find the adventure of a life yet lived.  Originally, I started this blog as a way to chronical my own journey in this La-La land, but it was a self-indulgent piece of crap.  Others are far more interesting than myself.  What I have found so far, is that everyone here has their reasons for sticking around.  And the people I have been lucky enough to meet all have amazing stories of how they got here and how they are just trying to make it here.  I have asked some people I have me along the way, to sit down with me and share their stories so that others may have the chance to learn from them.  And that is that is the real story... In a city full of dreamers, how do you make yours come true without losing yourself amongst all the delusions of grandeur.